Arusi Network, Inc.
Arusi Network: Social Support for
African-American Christian Marriage
Possible Limitations
One of the limitations of establishing a marriage support group is that it may encourage a couple's willingness to live with a problem in their marriage rather than seeking help or corrective action (Vaux, p. 285). The role of the pastoral staff is to be a link to professional resources as they may be needed.
Another limitation is the possibility of the group becoming a social clique where outsiders are not welcomed. The group may become self-serving and isolate themselves from the natural support systems in their families, neighborhoods, parish and friends (Vaux, p. 293). Pastors should encourage outreach beyond the group, such as sponsoring a parenting class that married and single parents are invited to participate in.
Following the rules for sharing may be difficult for some individuals. It is important to initially have strong leadership to reinforce these norms. Once they are well adopted, the majority will enforce the norms.
Pastoral leadership may perceive this effort to compete with resources already allocated to other areas of family ministry. It is important to recognize that the teachings of the Church places marriage as a Sacramental relationship with inherent graces. Resources must be allocated according to what we preach. "We must walk the walk and also talk the talk."
Because marital well-being is generally low in the African-American community (Cherlin), participation early in the program may be low. Do not misconstrue low participation to mean that the need is low. Refer to Phase 1 (Incorporate into the mission of the parish a high sense of value for marriage). Make the value evident in the liturgies, homilies and catechesis. The numbers will increase over time. Pastoral staffs must be less number-conscious. Jesus said, "Feed my sheep," not "Count them!"